The bible passage “thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself” tugs at my heartstrings. It speaks to the oneness between all human beings and the importance of kindness and empathy.

The neighbour relationship has given me a wonderful way to explore this connection. The shared experience of living in close proximity to others can create a sort of “tribe” mentality, where people are inclined to look out for each other.

I know this isn’t always the case, but I feel it is worth the effort to get to know your neighbours, if not just casually.

Call me lucky but we have definitely hit the jackpot over the years when it comes to great neighbours.

Our first neighbour family was with us for over 16 years. We shared the ups and downs of parenthood, took care of each other’s houses during summer vacations and enjoyed socializing together. Generous, kind and trustworthy. They are salt of the earth people.

Our neighbour surprised us one weekend by replacing our dilapidated back fence while we were away. When I saw what he did for us, I broke into tears. I will never forget that incredible act of kindness. Not sure what was harder when we moved…leaving our home or leaving our neighbours!

Fast forward to now and we are blessed with wonderful neighbours yet again. They are funny, engaging people who love to laugh and have a great time. How could you not love someone who brings freshly baked treats and bowls of steaming soup to your door? She is an incredible cook and loves to share her tasty creations.

Be the neighbour you would like to live next to.

Creating Community

Being a good neighbour creates community – one of the five pillars of the HomeHearted practice.

Building a community leads to trust and connection, which in turn helps you create a safer, more peaceful home for your family. Remember – it takes a village to raise a child…but it also takes a village to raise you up too!

According to Dr. Marissa King, professor of organizational behaviour at Yale School of Management and author of Social Chemistry: Decoding the Patterns of Human Behaviour, says neighbour relationships represent an essential part of our social fabric and can have an enormous impact on how happy we are living somewhere. “Positive relationships can increase mental health and feelings of well-being, while negative ones can decrease them,” she explains.

Good Neighbour 101

Being a good neighbour doesn’t mean you have to become BFFs. Make an effort to smile, wave hello and have brief conversations (and lucky you if friendship does develop!).

Welcome new neighbours by introducing yourself, and dropping off something small like cookies or a list of your favourite local service people. It’s also important to gauge your neighbour’s general “feel”. Some people are quieter and keep to themselves, so respecting boundaries with kindness goes a long way.

Here are a few of my tips on being a good neighbour:

• suggest getting together for coffee or drinks. Even if plans don’t go ahead, it sets a positive tone.
• if you have pets, make sure you follow proper “pet-iquette” and be respectful when it comes to noise and cleaning up after your fur babies.
• in many neighbourhoods yards are often connected, so talk to your neighbour about the potential of sharing lawn care duties – especially with boulevard grass. I remember one neighbour would edge his lawn and not finish the two feet of my section. Don’t be that person!
• be mindful of properly maintaining the exterior of your home. Neglected homes lower the energy of the area and impact everyone. On that note, if you notice a usually well-maintained home start to decline, ask your neighbour if they require assistance. Perhaps they have an illness or injury. They may appreciate your kind offer!
• don’t forget holiday decor! Remember to take it down in a timely manner.
• if you live in a communal situation like an apartment or condo, little things count! A friendly hello, holding the door open and engaging in brief conversations can set a positive tone.
• finally, one of the biggest issues between neighbours can be noise. If you are planning a gathering that could be a bit loud, let your neighbours know. Better yet, invite them!

Things aren’t always rainbows and roses

Sometimes you may find yourself dealing with difficult people or situations that can negatively impact your happy home vibes. When there is an existing relationship between neighbours – even a casual one built on smiles and waves of hello – it is easier to approach them about touchy subjects.

Investing in civility can pay dividends when challenges hit. If there is an issue, consider writing a note or asking if you can talk. “Someone has to have the humility and willingness to be the person to reach out in a difficult situation,” says Dr. King. “If the situation is very negative and takes up a disproportionate amount of your time and emotional energy – and you’ve tried to repair it – sometimes it’s best to let it go and focus on more positive ones”, she adds.

Investing in civility can pay dividends when challenges hit.

When nurturing the spiritual heart of your home, it is definitely easier to control what happens behind your doors rather than what happens outside them. But rest assured, with a little effort and a commitment to the Golden Rule: “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”, you can work towards creating the home, and neighbourhood, of your dreams.

That’s the HomeHearted way.