During my Feng Shui course this morning, I learnt something that turned my idea about clutter on its head.

It’s a game changer for parents, especially the ones who feel their child’s clutter must be tamed at all costs.

I’m here to tell you all to relax – clutter can actually be healthy for your children!

I’m sure you’re saying “no way”! That was my first reaction too. But wait – there’s a flip side to the tsunami of stuff that flows out of their rooms.

Yin and yang energy

Before I shed light on this confounding idea, let’s talk about two important concepts.

According to my teacher Amanda Gibby Peters, who created her own sweet style of Feng Shui called Simple Shui, one of the filters through which to view clutter is to ask, is it yin or yang?

Many of you will be familiar with these terms and the iconic black and white swirl symbol.

Yin energy is quiet, still, cool, slow, soft, dark and supportive. Yang energy is fast, bright, loud, hot, noisy and hard.

Clutter can be classified as either yin or yang. Yin clutter gives off a heavy, dense, sluggish energy. Almost like living in molasses. It can make you feel tired and even less motivated.

Yang clutter on the other hand, evokes feelings of overwhelm and anxiety. People surrounded by yang clutter tend to be paralyzed by their stuff with feelings of fear and guilt mixed in the mess.

So how does this relate to children?

Clutter helps with self soothing

Young children live in a yang world. Everything is new, overwhelming and unpredictable. New sights, smells, tastes and experiences bombard their fresh, vulnerable minds on a daily basis. To help soothe themselves from the chaos of being a new human, children instinctually fill their rooms with yin clutter: the bed is covered with cuddly stuffed animals; every corner is jam-packed with little treasures collected from walks, Happy Meals and birthday party goody bags; and their walls are a literal art gallery of paintings and drawings.

A child’s bedroom is their oasis. A place of familiarity and comfort which helps their nervous systems cope with the onslaught of learning new skills and trying to find safety and security in a big, loud world.

Makes sense doesn’t it?

Self soothing just for babies? Think again!

Teenagers suffer from a different type of overwhelm but also need a comfortable place to land and rest their brains. Teens burst (or should I say EXPLODE) with busy, loud, yang energy as they navigate the confusing path to becoming an adult.

Lack of control, expectations, rules, peer issues, identity, insecurities … all these things can make even the most well-adjusted teen short circuit.

A teen’s bedroom beckons them (and balances too!) with lots of comfortable yin clutter – clothes scattered everywhere, trinkets cover every flat surface, and photographs and posters taped to the walls. Don’t be surprised if your teen asks permission to paint their room in a dark colour … the ultimate yin cave!

Don’t view their space through your eyes

Resist the urge to purge your child’s room of their endless collections of seemingly useless stuff. Ask for their help when a bit of decluttering is in order.

When it comes to decorating, involve your child in decisions and be careful not to be swayed by current design trends. Check out Instagram’s endless parade of perfectly coiffed children’s rooms in soft muted colours with sterile decor items. There’s not a toy in sight!

The energy of these manicured spaces seems off. I believe an adult’s design wish list should not overpower a child’s need to create their own safe haven.

Their nervous systems need the clutter!

Of course it can’t be a free-for-all. Talk to your children about healthy boundaries with their possessions and establish the ground rules to ensure cleanliness, hygiene and safety. You don’t want any funky stuff growing in the closet!

After that my friends, just close the door and walk away.

Yin clutter can help seniors too

Another interesting fact? Using yin clutter to self soothe also applies to seniors. Getting older with health issues can be a yang experience, creating feelings of overwhelm, confusion and anxiety. When an aging loved one surrounds themselves in yin clutter, the memories and familiarity of beloved items (and sometimes lots of them) help create a sense of ease and stability.

Clutter is a child’s energy management system

Understanding how clutter helps calm your child’s nervous system is a game changer. I’ll warn you though – it’s not going to be easy to bite your tongue and turn a blind eye to the mess. A parent yelling “go clean your room!” seems like a childhood rite of passage!

However, remind yourself that their clutter-filled space is a vital energy management system that provides support by offering a soft respite from the world.

One thing’s for sure – the trials of growing up warrant all the softness your home can provide.

That’s the HomeHearted Way.