Your home is a sacred space for self-care

Here at HomeHearted Living I talk a lot about magic, joy and positive energy.

But what happens when you’re struggling and it is near impossible to find those happy, joy, joy feelings?

I say lean on your home for self-care when tough times hit.

My personal struggles

I’m definitely not a stranger to life’s challenges. The past 20 years have been difficult – raising a child with speaking and learning difficulties, an unfulfilling career, struggles with my stuttering and dealing with my parents’ ailing health and mom’s dementia diagnosis.

Some days I would just sit and think there is no joy in my life. It felt like my spirit was broken.

I’m sure people looked at me and thought I had it all together. I was in a long-term marriage, worked in our company business and taught yoga of all things! How could I not be happy?

But of course things are sometimes not what they appear. Many of us put on masks to hide a deeper pain.

My home helped me with self-care

Looking back, I recognize the important role my home played with self-care during those years of stress and sadness. I’ve always nurtured the life energy of my home, and this investment paid off in spades when the going got tough.

Your home’s energy and aliveness makes it a member of your family.

When you need help, family members show up. They support you and lift you up.

Yes, a home can do all those things and more!

Let your home nurture you through the five pillars

Here are a few some of my self-care experiences and ideas as viewed through the Five Pillars of the HomeHearted Practice.

Pillar One – Purification

Smudging: When things feel off and I’m having a bad stretch, I like to smudge my house with dried sage or lavender. I wander through my space sweeping the smoke into all the nooks and crannies and say out loud, “I cleanse and clear my space of all negativity and fill and shield it with Love.”

I feel lighter afterwards – maybe I banished the negative energy in the space or maybe my attention focused more on love. Doesn’t matter, because it works. This is my go-to strategy when dark times hit.

Energy Affirmations/Intentions: You don’t need an elaborate ritual to cleanse your mind and your space. All you need is to say what you want out loud! I enjoy a daily practice of affirmations. They give me peace, a sense of control and bring my attention back to the positive. Take a look and see if they resonate with you.

Cleaning: Does stress make you want to vacuum or dust? Heck yes! When I’m going through tough times I always want to clean. It helps quiet my thoughts and becomes almost a moving meditation. The feeling of accomplishment afterwards always gives me an endorphin rush. Not sure where to start? Just make your bed every morning!

Pillar Two – Protection

Energy Affirmations/Intentions: you’ll notice the affirmations I use have an element of protection in them. This is critical. When you cleanse your space (or you!), you need to protect that positive energy!

Crystals: crystals help forge protective boundaries, keep negative energy at bay and curate a space that spills over with love, peace and healing energy. They are beautiful to look at and to hold in your palm while meditating.

Here are some to try:

Rose quartz – for loving energy and compassion

Citrine – for good luck and sunny vibes during the winter months

Amethyst – for a serene space

Black tourmaline – for protecting your threshold from bad energy

Carnelian – for building a creative space

Selenite – for bringing the light

Hematite – for keeping your home free from toxicity

I like to display my crystals on window ledges to catch the sun. This location also exposes them to moonlight – a necessary ingredient to keep the crystals clean and fully charged.

Pillar Three – Beauty

Surrounding yourself with beauty in all its forms lifts the spirit and gives you energy to manage life’s ups and downs. These self-care activities target all the senses!

Sight: fill your home with favourite colours, mementos, furniture and art. Practice maximalism and embrace “creative clutter” with the layering of personal possessions, textures and colours that bring joy and warmth to your space. Nothing is more healing than being surrounded by things you love.

Sound: listen to music in your home. Need relaxation? Try the Sound Bath playlist on iTunes. I also recommend the sound of Koshi chimes (search on iTunes and Spotify) and the sound of wind and running water. I am a huge EDM fan and on days I feel tired and blue, I crank up the dance music and move!

Smells: elevate your mood with aromatherapy. Diffuse/burn essential oils like lemon, pink grapefruit, sweet orange, peppermint, lavender and bergamot to soothe anxiety and boost energy.

Taste: indulge in your favourite comfort foods once in a while if you’re feeling low. If cooking brings you joy, set aside time to work in the kitchen. Be mindful as you prepare your favourite foods and enjoy the process – the very act of cooking is steeped, quite literally, in love.

Touch: surround yourself with softness to soothe frayed nerves. Pick the best quality sheet set and towels you can afford. Splurge on a fuzzy blanket to curl up in as you read or watch television.

Pillar Four – Gratitude

I get it. Sometimes it feels impossible to be grateful when life is a dumpster fire. My trick? Thanking my home on a daily basis for giving my family warmth, safety, comfort and love.

Create a family altar as a visual reminder of your gratitude practice. An altar is a sacred space representing your home’s spiritual center or “heart”. It is a place to display well-loved photos and mementos that tell your family’s story.

The centre of my home is our living room fireplace mantel. It features a large family portrait and a collection of meaningful items. Every morning I turn on the mantel light and catch myself smiling. It helps me start the day with a lifted heart.

Where could you create a family altar? Get the family involved and have fun!

Pillar Five – Community

Human connection and community are critical for mental health – in both good and bad times. In the past when I felt low, my default mode was to withdraw from others. Thankfully, I’ve made a conscious effort to change that pattern and reach out to others when I need support. It always pays off.

Chat to your neighbours, invite friends over for coffee or FaceTime your bestie. Use your home as a backdrop for making happy memories with your family and friends. Like psychologist and author John Townsend said, “connecting with others during difficult times makes the trials more bearable.” Amen!

Expand your definition of what self-care is during difficult times. Be open to new ideas and strategies that involve your beloved home. Let your living space be the light that lifts you up during dark times.

That’s the HomeHearted way.